03-29-02 (MochaJava)
It is 12:02AM. Had to have that coffee after I got home from work, although it was 10:30PM. I am such a creature of habit. I work different shifts, but I ALWAYS have a good cup of high-test coffee when I get home. I have some decaf here, but knew I had laundry to do tonight, so I opted for the strong stuff. I lay on my bed while I sipped it and started feeling too warm and comfortable, so I am playing here while my jeans dry.
Seems I keep finding lost poetry lately. Funny part is, some of it still applies years after I wrote it. Guess because I'm still me, and my life has pretty much stayed the same throughout the years, in spite of many changes. This poem is sort of how I was feeling last night when I came across it, although it was written in 1989. Tonight, I feel much better and am more at peace with myself and the world than I have been for awhile. I guess we sometimes get so stressed that we can't see the forest for the trees. Anyway, I'll add this poem, fold my jeans, and get to bed. Tommorrow will be a beautiful day. I INSIST ON IT.
SEEYA!
Nothing Beautiful
Nothing beautiful will come
from my twisted mind tonight.
I feel both tired and anxious,
coffined in my own fright.
My mind is not with me.
It's off somewhere in space.
My spirit has vanished
and left darkness in it's place.
There's a body sitting here
which I'm not sure is mine.
I fear that mine is somewhere
in a box constructed of pine.
For dead and empty I am,
and dead and empty I'll be;
until someone truly loves me
and sets my being free.
09-26-02
I have finally returned; coming to you from a different place, but I HAVE returned to my writing. I will share an update on my new life on the following page, and hopefully begin to write loyally once again now that the smoke has somewhat settled.
Page12 (A New Beginning)
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